The definition of:

‘Captain Redbeard’


Captain Redbeard

Character. A popular French pirate.

According to Wikipedia (the internet’s source of all things true), Captain Redbeard is a French Pirate who swashbuckled his way around the world in search of treasure. Apparently, he stashed his fortune in Florida (makes sense... you’ve got to retire sometime). He didn’t stash it in a bank though – it’s probably in a swamp under an alligator with an X marked on its back. In fact, Captain Redbeard is such a legend he’s probably still alive sipping daiquiris on the beach, surrounded by a gaggle of ladies.

Random Urban Dictionary Definition

Male who has red facial hair despite having a completely different hair color (typically brown). On a "Captain Redbeard" the red facial hair is typically prominent yet patchy and frequently has no genetic justification.

“Hey Captain Redbeard, why don't you dye your beard a normal color?”

A History of Badassery

The original Captain Redbeard may have been Hayreddin Barbarossa, a 15th century Turkish Admiral who turned the Ottoman empire into an epic naval power.

What would Margaret and David think?

Barbarossa was the name of the pirate and main protagonist in the 1953 film Raiders of the Seven Seas. They’d probably disagree over the film's integrity. Margaret would give it 4 stars because she loves men with red beards, but David only 2.

And if he were made out of Lego?

The modern day Captain Redbeard of Australia

He drives a ‘Black Falcon’ of course, probably has a tattoo of an anchor or a mermaid, and works behind a Tiki-themed bar serving attitude to all.

What he looks like according to Google

Final word

There’s a reason The Captain is The Captain.